happy2Bnappy...New poem "Secret Life of Curls"

Last year a friend of mine who is a mompreneur as well as natural hair blogger and enthusiast, LaTashia Carter-Perry had an event called "Curls Night Out" where she brought together natural hair care vendors, natural hair care professionals and lovers of natural hair for a celebration of all of the elements that make our natural kinks and curls so magical and amazing! LaTashia asked me to do some poetry for this event and I was honored and delighted. I was so excited about this event that I was inspired to write a new poem. In the weeks leading up to this event I found out that I was preggo with baby number 6 and life went from zero to 100...real quick! Needless to say I didn't memorize the poem and actually lost the notebook that it was written in! I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so I just did another appropriate poem, but i was still bummed about losing my new poem and my new notebook.  Last week I wrote a blog dealing with my daughter's natural hair journey and as fate would have it I found the notebook with the lost poem in it...AINT GOD GOOD!




You can follow LaTashia on FB at:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Secret-Life-of-Curls//

and

http://mamagonethrifting.blogspot.com





So as a dedication to natural hair, black history month, and my homegirl who helped inspire this poem you have "The Secret Life of Curls"





We sew in our existence

18-20 inches

27 pieces of black girl puzzle

muzzled mane

pain in our beauty

untamed and unruly

you can't gel down the edges of the earth

can't change birth rites

there is beauty in this crown

brown mound of Mojo

the makers magic

creation lives in these curls

I woke up like this

Luscious

no you can't touch it

it's as if heaven erupted from my head

they hate it cuz they can't tame it, can't conquer it or claim it

no mater how you try and train it these roots still grow nappy

just like my mammy and my granny

I've got good genes

and as a girl my father told me my hair is good because it is growing out of my head

Just the way God intended

splendid spirals

an eyeful of ebony essence

an unintentional rebel

the revolutionary act of being a black girl

this hair has carried the fears and burdens of the world

while they marvel at it in private, this is the secret life of curls


Copyright 2014 Amber Hasan

Bonding through baldness..."it's just hair"

Yes, really, Bonding through Baldness!  There is some kind of humor in every situation and my daughter Eva and I are the type of people who always try and find that humor.  Even with that being so,before writing this blog I talked to my daughter and let her know that I was going to share this experience just to make sure she was comfortable with it and she is.  

They say that "necessity is the mother of invention", or something like that.  I don't know who "they" are but I think that "they" could be on to something.  About seven or eight years ago when I had less children and more energy I would dabble in making my own skin products; creams, shampoos, soaps, and the like.  At the time I had just begun having these really weird rashes and my skin couldn't take the use of most commercial products on the market.  Several years later I found out that the rashes were caused by Lupus. I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), commonly known as Lupus, a chronic, autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs inside the body). This diagnosis caused me to become more conscious of the products that I use and the ingredients in those product.  But to tell the truth just because I became more conscious of what products I used doesn't mean that I changed much, it just means that I thought about it more often.  

I didn't make any real changes until about 4 months ago when my 11 year-old daughter came to me and showed me her head and I was devastated by what I saw.  My daughter had 4 large bald spots in her head, she had worn braids during the summer that damaged her scalp and she developed traction alopecia.  When she went for her yearly physical a week later we had her doctor look at the spots and he prescribed a pill, a shampoo, and a cream but he wasn't sure that the hair would grow back.  I'm not a huge fan of pills but I also wanted my daughter to get better.  Eva is generally level headed but her scalp was damaged and I had no idea how long it would take for the hair to grow back.  I gave my daughter the medication that the doctor prescribed and the next day she had a horrible migraine with vomiting and the whole nine, which caused her to leave school early.  I decided at that moment it was up to me to help my daughter's scalp heal and grow her hair back.  Luckily I save all of my old notebooks and I found some of my old skin and hair care recipes.  I combined a hair and skin cream recipe with a beard growth conditioner to make an all natural hair growth and conditioning cream. 

I started treating Eva's hair and scalp by keeping them as healthy as possible.  As a mother there is so much fulfillment in being able to pass knowledge to your daughter, that is how we live on, through the information and skills that we share.  I would walk Eva through every step and have her assist me when I made products so that she will always know how to keep her hair healthy.  I washed her hair at least once a week with an apple cider vinegar conditioner, used a homemade hair tea every other week and used the hair growth and conditioning cream daily on the hair and scalp as needed. I styled her hair in protective styles only.  Eva wore mostly braid and twist outs that had to be strategically styled to cover the bald spots. Within two weeks we could already see results and after three months her scalp was healed and the hair had grown back in all of the spots.  

I trust my daughter's doctor and I truly believe that he is good at what he does.  With that being said I am glad we decided not to use the medication.  Using natural methods helped me to trust my abilities and I was able to show my daughter how  alternative medicine can be used successfully and that healing doesn't have to come from a pill.

I also unexpectedly learned a great deal about my daughter through this experience.  My daughter is more resilient, self-confident and fearless than I could have ever hoped for.  I know that kids can be cruel so I did my best to conceal the hair loss, which was hard in the beginning.  Eva never let it bother her, if someone happened to ask about the hair loss she would give them a matter of fact response, she owned it.  She would always be polite but she was never embarrassed or intimidated by the questions.  Classmates would also ask her why she didn't just wear weave, and she would respond by asking them why they were concerned with HER hair.  When we would discuss it I would always tell my daughter "it's just hair, it will grow back" and that is the attitude that she embodied through it all.  At such a young age she understands that she is so much more than her hair and she is comfortable in her own skin.  I don't care if she loses all of her hair, I just hope that she never loses that understanding...

Left October 2014/ Right January 2015

7 ways to stay sane during your first 6 weeks with a new baby!!!

7 ways to stay sane during your first 6 weeks with a new baby!!!

Lately my blogs have been all about babies, why...because I just had a new baby of course.  During those first 6 weeks with a new baby your life literally revolves around your new little miracle, which can be demanding and a bit overwhelming.  Even though I am on baby number 6 I sometimes have to remind myself how I have made it through dealing with 6 newborns without going completely insane!  So here are some tips for new moms (reminders for us pros) on how to make it through those first weeks without completely losing it!

Eat-

With all of the hormonal and schedule changes that come along with having a new baby in the house sometimes you forget to eat.  You are so busy feeding, changing, and soothing your new little one that you either forget or are too exhausted to eat when you get the time.  But eating is very important during this time to keep your hormones balanced, keep blood sugar levels normal, and to battle possible post partum depression.  I keep an apple (to keep me regular) or something easy, like animal crackers near my bed so that even if I’m too tired to cook I can get some calories in my system.  Another good option is smoothies or yogurt if you don’t have much of an appetite.

Sleep-

It is so important to get proper rest after having a new baby.  For one your body is healing and you are also trying to compensate for the sleep you will lose at night due to your baby waking to eat and be changed.  Whenever you can you should sleep when your baby sleeps.  Even though this is not always possible, do it as much as you can.  Even if you can only get a 30-45 minute nap each time your baby sleeps it will help you to heal faster be better prepared to deal with the stresses of taking care of a newborn.

Shower-

Nothing will brighten your mood and make you feel like a new person better than a shower can.  Being tired and trying to work the responsibilities of a new baby into an already busy schedule can make it seem almost impossible to find time for a shower into your post partum life.  Even if you can only steal away 5 minutes of time, make sure you use it to get a good shower, your mind and your body will thank you! 

Get Fresh Air-

Taking care of a newborn can easily lead to a bad case of cabin fever, which can bring on or intensify post partum depression.  One thing that I found helps wonders is to get a little fresh air everyday.  It may only be a walk to the mailbox or one minute on the back porch enjoying the sunshine, a little bit of fresh air goes a long way.  The weather doesn’t have to be perfect either, one minute outdoors can refresh you and lift your spirits helping to shake off that cabin fever.

Drink Lots of Water-

I cannot stress enough how important it is to drink enough water after having a new baby.  Drinking water can help to keep away constipation, which will only add stress to your life in any situation, but especially when dealing with a new baby.  Drinking enough water can also help to flush any toxins out of your system and help you to get back near your pre pregnancy size.  Not to mention drinking lots of water can help to deal with post partum acne, which can be quite annoying!

Take your vitamins

It is just as important to take your vitamins post partum as it is during pregnancy.  You are losing blood and not getting adequate sleep so taking vitamins can help to keep your body healthy while you are recuperating from giving birth.  Just continue to take your prenatal vitamins as usual, if you are breastfeeding and would like to take a different vitamin be sure to consult with your doctor first.

Accept Help

Don’t be too proud to accept (or ask for) help when you bring your new baby home.  If someone offers to cook a meal, wash dishes, or take your older kids off your hands for a few hours by all means, let them help.  Trying to be super mom can lead you to being overworked and stressed out, something that isn’t good for you or your new little one.  You don’t have to let every one do everything for you but take this time to enjoy the kindness of others and get the rest that you need and deserve.

6 truths about breastfeeding that people forget to tell new mothers!

Breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural experience that builds an unexplainable bond between mother and child.  Breastfeeding is the best way for a mother to feed her child, if she is able.  With that being said there are some things that us breastfeeding veterans neglect to tell new mothers while we are giving them all of the flowery rhetoric about how magically and wonderful breastfeeding is.  Believe it or not, despite all of the benefits and joys that come along with breastfeeding there are also some aspects that are not so great, if you are not prepared for them.  I like to give people the whole story because I believe that the benefits of breastfeeding far outweigh the sacrifices, and if women know what to expect ahead of time they won’t be scared, stressed or disgusted when faced with an obstacle!

11.     For the first month or two your baby will want to eat ALL the time!!!

Once your milk comes in good (2-3 days after delivery in my experience) expect to be an on call feeding machine for your newborn.  The doctors will tell you to feed every 3 hours, and in a perfect world having a “schedule” would be such a blessing.  But you baby’s body knows what it needs and sometimes it is every hour and a half to two hours, and some nights it will seem like the feedings never stop!!!  So be prepared, keep water on hand to fight dehydration and sleep when you can because you may have an adorable appendage hanging from your boobs for 6-8 weeks.

22.     Your breasts will be sore!

People will tell you that breastfeeding doesn’t hurt...and if you are doing it properly it won’t hurt.  But that is like saying that working out doesn’t hurt, and it doesn’t, but it will leave you sore!!!  So don’t be alarmed if you notice that your nipples and/or breasts are tender, tenderness is to be expected.  Try using a nipple cream like or even coconut oil, which I personally prefer.  But if your breasts become red, hot, or you experience sharp shooting pains call your doctor ASAP because you may have an infection.

33.     You will smell like milk.

Shower as much as you like but as long as you are breastfeeding, especially during the first few months you will smell like milk.  Don’t worry; as long as you change your breast pads often the only people who will be able to smell it are you and your baby.  With my first baby I was so concerned that everyone around me could smell my milk, but my mother assured me that she had know idea what I was talking about and that I could smell it because it was right under my nose!

44.     That tingle is normal!

When it’s time to nurse I always say that my “Spidey senses are tingling” because there is an unmistakable tingle that you get when it is time to feed your baby.  This tingle doesn’t hurt but you may find yourself unconsciously reaching up to grab your breasts when they begin to tingle!

55.     Full breasts are very uncomfortable!

A breast pump is a great investment if you plan to breastfeed and you won’t be able to feed directly from the breast all of the time because full breasts are NOT fun.  Full breasts feel like you are carrying ultra-sensitive concrete bricks on the front of your body, and the slightest touch or breeze send you a friendly reminder that you need to feed your child ASAP.  Full breasts can also cause engorgement, which is a clogged milk duct, needless to say a painful experience.  I was on vacation and became so full one time that I hand pumped my milk just to relieve the pressure!

66.     Breastfeeding will leave you starving and exhausted!

During a breastfeeding session you may find it hard to keep your eyes open or to keep your stomach from growling...or both!  Breastfeeding burns calories, which can make you both tired and hungry (thirsty too!).  Experts say that you should consume 600 extra calories a day while breastfeeding to compensate for what you will lose.  It is always good to keep some snacks handy while breastfeeding, I keep animal crackers and applesauce on my nightstand for a quick pick me up while nursing.

Even with these “inconveniences” of breastfeeding I chose to breastfeed all 6 of my children, (currently breastfeeding the baby as I type this) and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  So even though breastfeeding isn’t all rose pedals and sunshine I feel that if you go into it knowing what to expect it will be one of the most fulfilling experiences of your life!

Top 5 reasons why I breastfeed

Top Five Reasons why I breastfeed

Since last week was World Breastfeeding Week and I am on the cusp of giving birth to baby #6 I decided to write a blog dedicated to some of the reasons why breastfeeding is the best choice for me!  I have 5 years of breastfeeding experience under my belt and I wouldn't have had it any other way.  Hopefully this blog will lend support to someone who isn't sure that breastfeeding is the right choice, or maybe it will inspire a sister who is on the fence about breastfeeding to give it a try.  Whatever purpose they may serve here are my top five reasons for breastfeeding!!!

1.  I’m Lazy!!!

Number five on my top five reasons why I choose to breastfeed is simply because I am lazy.  I am the mother of 5 (soon to be six) children, I am an entrepreneur, and a performance poet among many other things.  I wear many hats on a daily basis, which coupled with the fact that I have Lupus often times leaves me DRAINED.  So waking up every two-three hours in the middle of the night to mix formula and make bottles is not my idea of a fun time.  On top of mixing formula and making bottles who wants to clean bottles.  I mean seriously I have 1,001 things to do from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed and nursing makes my life so much easier, I can just pop out a boob an keep on pushing.  So as shallow and petty as it may seem one of my top reasons for breastfeeding is pure, and unadulterated laziness!

2.  I’m cheap!!!

Not only am I too lazy to mix formula, make and clean bottles I am also too cheap to buy formula, bottles, nipples, bottle cleaners and all of the other products that come along with bottle-feeding!  When I go to the store and look at the price of formula I nearly breakout in hives at how expensive that stuff is.  As a matter of fact it is so expensive that some stores keep it behind the customer service desk because it has become a high theft item.  I think that it is sad that mothers have to even consider stealing milk for their babies when there is an ample supply right under our shirts!

3.  Breast milk is easier to transport!!!

Being that I normally roll with three or more children at one time I try to keep my baggage to a minimum.  So one of the beautiful things about breastfeeding is that it allows me to pack light when moving around with my little ones.  I don’t have to lug around all of the essentials that come along with bottles and formula, which is a huge relief for me since I will have two little ones in diapers and three in car seats, so that extra equipment would just be exhausting.

4.  Breastfeeding helped me drop the baby weight!!!

One of the biggest perks of breastfeeding is that it is one of the best ways to drop those extra pounds picked up during pregnancy.  I have never gained less than 90 pounds during a pregnancy so people are always surprised at how fast I drop my pregnancy pounds and how I maintain my figure after having five babies.  For all of those people who want to know my secret here it is... A.) I breastfeed and B.) I workout...and that is it! 

5.  Breast milk is the best for my baby!!!

The number one reason why I chose to breastfeed each and every one of my children is because breast milk is the healthiest choice!!!  I became a mother for the first time at 19 years old.  I read every book and magazine about babies and motherhood that I could get my hands on because I wanted to be the best mother that I could be.  One reoccurring theme that I came across in my studying was about the overwhelming benefits of breastfeeding.  After breastfeeding 5 (soon to be six) babies I can say that none of them has ever had an ear infection, and they are rarely ever sick.  I also feel that nursing creates a bond between mother and child that cannot be duplicated.  With all of the questionable food on the market these days knowing that my baby will get food specially made just for him brings me great joy and comfort, because at the end of the day breast milk is the best for babies!!!