Bonding through baldness..."it's just hair"

Yes, really, Bonding through Baldness!  There is some kind of humor in every situation and my daughter Eva and I are the type of people who always try and find that humor.  Even with that being so,before writing this blog I talked to my daughter and let her know that I was going to share this experience just to make sure she was comfortable with it and she is.  

They say that "necessity is the mother of invention", or something like that.  I don't know who "they" are but I think that "they" could be on to something.  About seven or eight years ago when I had less children and more energy I would dabble in making my own skin products; creams, shampoos, soaps, and the like.  At the time I had just begun having these really weird rashes and my skin couldn't take the use of most commercial products on the market.  Several years later I found out that the rashes were caused by Lupus. I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), commonly known as Lupus, a chronic, autoimmune disease that can damage any part of the body (skin, joints, and/or organs inside the body). This diagnosis caused me to become more conscious of the products that I use and the ingredients in those product.  But to tell the truth just because I became more conscious of what products I used doesn't mean that I changed much, it just means that I thought about it more often.  

I didn't make any real changes until about 4 months ago when my 11 year-old daughter came to me and showed me her head and I was devastated by what I saw.  My daughter had 4 large bald spots in her head, she had worn braids during the summer that damaged her scalp and she developed traction alopecia.  When she went for her yearly physical a week later we had her doctor look at the spots and he prescribed a pill, a shampoo, and a cream but he wasn't sure that the hair would grow back.  I'm not a huge fan of pills but I also wanted my daughter to get better.  Eva is generally level headed but her scalp was damaged and I had no idea how long it would take for the hair to grow back.  I gave my daughter the medication that the doctor prescribed and the next day she had a horrible migraine with vomiting and the whole nine, which caused her to leave school early.  I decided at that moment it was up to me to help my daughter's scalp heal and grow her hair back.  Luckily I save all of my old notebooks and I found some of my old skin and hair care recipes.  I combined a hair and skin cream recipe with a beard growth conditioner to make an all natural hair growth and conditioning cream. 

I started treating Eva's hair and scalp by keeping them as healthy as possible.  As a mother there is so much fulfillment in being able to pass knowledge to your daughter, that is how we live on, through the information and skills that we share.  I would walk Eva through every step and have her assist me when I made products so that she will always know how to keep her hair healthy.  I washed her hair at least once a week with an apple cider vinegar conditioner, used a homemade hair tea every other week and used the hair growth and conditioning cream daily on the hair and scalp as needed. I styled her hair in protective styles only.  Eva wore mostly braid and twist outs that had to be strategically styled to cover the bald spots. Within two weeks we could already see results and after three months her scalp was healed and the hair had grown back in all of the spots.  

I trust my daughter's doctor and I truly believe that he is good at what he does.  With that being said I am glad we decided not to use the medication.  Using natural methods helped me to trust my abilities and I was able to show my daughter how  alternative medicine can be used successfully and that healing doesn't have to come from a pill.

I also unexpectedly learned a great deal about my daughter through this experience.  My daughter is more resilient, self-confident and fearless than I could have ever hoped for.  I know that kids can be cruel so I did my best to conceal the hair loss, which was hard in the beginning.  Eva never let it bother her, if someone happened to ask about the hair loss she would give them a matter of fact response, she owned it.  She would always be polite but she was never embarrassed or intimidated by the questions.  Classmates would also ask her why she didn't just wear weave, and she would respond by asking them why they were concerned with HER hair.  When we would discuss it I would always tell my daughter "it's just hair, it will grow back" and that is the attitude that she embodied through it all.  At such a young age she understands that she is so much more than her hair and she is comfortable in her own skin.  I don't care if she loses all of her hair, I just hope that she never loses that understanding...

Left October 2014/ Right January 2015

Top 5 reasons why I breastfeed

Top Five Reasons why I breastfeed

Since last week was World Breastfeeding Week and I am on the cusp of giving birth to baby #6 I decided to write a blog dedicated to some of the reasons why breastfeeding is the best choice for me!  I have 5 years of breastfeeding experience under my belt and I wouldn't have had it any other way.  Hopefully this blog will lend support to someone who isn't sure that breastfeeding is the right choice, or maybe it will inspire a sister who is on the fence about breastfeeding to give it a try.  Whatever purpose they may serve here are my top five reasons for breastfeeding!!!

1.  I’m Lazy!!!

Number five on my top five reasons why I choose to breastfeed is simply because I am lazy.  I am the mother of 5 (soon to be six) children, I am an entrepreneur, and a performance poet among many other things.  I wear many hats on a daily basis, which coupled with the fact that I have Lupus often times leaves me DRAINED.  So waking up every two-three hours in the middle of the night to mix formula and make bottles is not my idea of a fun time.  On top of mixing formula and making bottles who wants to clean bottles.  I mean seriously I have 1,001 things to do from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed and nursing makes my life so much easier, I can just pop out a boob an keep on pushing.  So as shallow and petty as it may seem one of my top reasons for breastfeeding is pure, and unadulterated laziness!

2.  I’m cheap!!!

Not only am I too lazy to mix formula, make and clean bottles I am also too cheap to buy formula, bottles, nipples, bottle cleaners and all of the other products that come along with bottle-feeding!  When I go to the store and look at the price of formula I nearly breakout in hives at how expensive that stuff is.  As a matter of fact it is so expensive that some stores keep it behind the customer service desk because it has become a high theft item.  I think that it is sad that mothers have to even consider stealing milk for their babies when there is an ample supply right under our shirts!

3.  Breast milk is easier to transport!!!

Being that I normally roll with three or more children at one time I try to keep my baggage to a minimum.  So one of the beautiful things about breastfeeding is that it allows me to pack light when moving around with my little ones.  I don’t have to lug around all of the essentials that come along with bottles and formula, which is a huge relief for me since I will have two little ones in diapers and three in car seats, so that extra equipment would just be exhausting.

4.  Breastfeeding helped me drop the baby weight!!!

One of the biggest perks of breastfeeding is that it is one of the best ways to drop those extra pounds picked up during pregnancy.  I have never gained less than 90 pounds during a pregnancy so people are always surprised at how fast I drop my pregnancy pounds and how I maintain my figure after having five babies.  For all of those people who want to know my secret here it is... A.) I breastfeed and B.) I workout...and that is it! 

5.  Breast milk is the best for my baby!!!

The number one reason why I chose to breastfeed each and every one of my children is because breast milk is the healthiest choice!!!  I became a mother for the first time at 19 years old.  I read every book and magazine about babies and motherhood that I could get my hands on because I wanted to be the best mother that I could be.  One reoccurring theme that I came across in my studying was about the overwhelming benefits of breastfeeding.  After breastfeeding 5 (soon to be six) babies I can say that none of them has ever had an ear infection, and they are rarely ever sick.  I also feel that nursing creates a bond between mother and child that cannot be duplicated.  With all of the questionable food on the market these days knowing that my baby will get food specially made just for him brings me great joy and comfort, because at the end of the day breast milk is the best for babies!!!