Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Why I Cook Black Eyed Peas for the New Year and A NEW POEM!!!!!!!

For the past few days I have had the strongest craving for black eyed peas!  When I woke up this morning it dawned on me why (No I am NOT pregnant again).  I believe the reason for my craving is because it is New Years Eve, and for as long as I can remember my mother, grandmother, and aunts always make black eyed peas on New Years Eve.  I believe that the tradition is centered around having good fortunes in the coming year, but seeing as though I am not a subscriber to luck I cook black eyed peas on this day for another reason and that reason is tradition.  I no longer have my maternal grandmother and great-grandmother in my life to turn to for wisdom.  I spent so much of my life being influenced by the examples of those two wonderful women, learning from every visit and conversation.     So even though I can no longer share physical space with those special women, on this day I can stir up their memories in a pot of Black Eyed Peas!  Everyone have a safe and happy New Year!








Peas In the Pot





Black eyed peas for the New Year
Not because I believe in luck
but because its what my grandmother did
it is tradition
Black eyed peas are never as good as they are on New Years day
tasting like my Granny's hugs and kisses
memories simmering
pots full of family
feeding spirits
reaching back and passing forward
I bring them with me in bowls full of knowledge
pot liquor poets
those women-folk who fed me
gave me recipes for survival
something substantial to chew on
to grow from
to digest
in my soul and in my flesh I was nourished
gave it to me straight
their truth gave me courage
the way that they flourished in the worst situations gives me patience
motivation
their is no "give up" in my blood
only black eyed peas
cooked on New Years eve
and bellies full of love

Thursday, December 19, 2013

My mommy haiku aka "bout dat life"

I have been writing Haiku's lately...this one is for all mothers of the world, you are NOT Alone!!!

I can't Piss in peace/
Feet in my back while I sleep/
Kids are a mother/

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

SpitFire Poetry/Nacho Pizza/ East Lansing

Performing always gives me a rush!  I love being on stage just as much as I love writing. But between juggling 5 kids, writing and managing a household I am often times too exhausted to doll myself up to get on stage!  By the remote chance that I have energy to perform who has the time or free brain cells to memorize poetry along side keeping track of dentist appointments and oil changes?

So tonight was a treat for me!

Tonight I was the feature poet at SpitFire Poetry in East Lansing, hosted by Logic and Ethereal at a cozy art gallery, Metrospace.  The show was great, tons of positive energy, wonderful poetry and an amazing pizza spot next door called Georgio's, which served a delicious nacho pizza (East Lansing has so many cool spots to get good food), truly one of the highlights of my night. Not only was I given the opportunity to present my work, but I was also blessed with the ability to experience new artists, network and build with creative minds. Thanks to the hosts for inviting me and displaying such genuine hospitality and my sincerest appreciation to all the supporters who came out to the show, the crowd was full off love and that alone makes what I do worth it!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

DISTRACTIONS: the top 10 things that keep me from writing... #MomLife #Distractions #Writing #Poetry #realLIFE

Hello all!!!  I know it has been a while and I sincerely apologize(not really it just seems polite to say) because I have been a lazy writer.  Although I can be a very lazy writer, many times I have perfectly valid reasons (valid in my twisted mind) why I don't write.  In my attempts to do better (i'm in a 12 step program for artists) I am going to address my obstacles to writing in order to overcome them!!! ***(I'm not really in a program, and addressing these issues will probably in no way help solve them!!!)


10.  T.V.
Judge shows, Scandal, Shark Week, an SVU marathon, who could write with hip-hop ab infomercials and paternity test being read left and right!!!  I hate to admit it but unless I am truly inspired I CAN NOT work while watching T.V.

9.  Food
I love to snack.  Writing while snacking never works for me because snacking generally leads to more snacking, which leads to watching T.V. (which also distracts me from writing)

8.  Cell Phone
Rather someone is calling, texting, emailing, tweeting it all manifests through my phone... which has mysteriously become an appendage (I'm sure it's a government conspiracy) and I obediently make myself redly available to the world, all day, everyday...and God forbid I cut my tracking device off, or don't answer it, or say the battery dies...it is as if catastrophic events are scheduled to transpire if people can't contact me for a day or two (pardon my venting)

7.  Significant Other
I am quite sure that being in a relationship with a writer, or any artist for that matter, can be frustrating and confusing.  Normal people don't stop mid-conversation to search for a writing utensil (even a crayon will do) and paper (a receipt, paper bag, envelope...anything really) so that they can write down the poem that has been harassing their brain all day, and then return to the conversation like nothing ever happened!  Being a writer and being in a relationship I have to make sure that I am not being selfish with my time.  Writing can consume me if I let it so I make a conscious effort not to neglect my partner...or my writing...

6.  Anxiety
I am aware of my anxiety.
I work my way through my anxiety.
But working through my anxiety takes physical, mental and spiritual energy which sometimes leaves me too exhausted to write.  Writing helps but sometimes my anxiety creates an almost electric energy that keeps me bouncing off the walls, mind and body.  During these times it is like I can't shut the words in my head off, they just keep coming and it is so overwhelming that I can't grasp one word, thought or idea to help me stay afloat.  That is why I named my first book "Drowning in my own spit", because sometimes it feels like I am really drowning in my words and thoughts.

5.  Illness


4.  Sleep
I wake up before the sun most mornings and I am constantly moving ALL DAY LONG, so when I do get a second to sit still I usually fall asleep, sometimes I plan it...sometimes it just happens!  Sleep has become such a precious commodity to me at this point in my life.  I was always a night owl but now I can't wait to cozy up, wether it is to sneak in a nap or get a full nights rest sleep has become my new muse!

3. Researching conspiracy theories and watching hood fight videos on YouTube
My guilty pleasures in life are conspiracy theories and ridiculous YouTube hood fight videos, there I admit it!  I am sure that there is a conspiracy theory about YouTube being invented to keep us from being productive by providing an endless supply of whatever you want to see...*side note- I also look up how-to and DIY videos on YouTube about things that I never plan to do.

2.  Books
Hello, my name is Amber and I am a bibliophile...every since I was a little girl I have loved books.  The smell of the pages, the sound of the pages turning, the weight and texture of the paper, an most of all the worlds that exist between the covers have kept me captivated for years.  Books have always played an important role in my life, to the point where if I start a book and set it down for too long I start to feel guilty for neglecting it.  When I start reading I tune out everything like i'm in a trance or an alternate universe...lol...so it is often times the case that I cheat on my pen with my books.

1.  Kids
My children are my world, the reason why I exist, my everything...including my fail proof scape goats! Everyday there are between 5-11 children ages 1-12 at my house requiring my attention in some sort of capacity.  I personally gave birth to 5 children, my S.O. has 1 child, and I help my sister with her 6 children so that she can work.  I homeschool 4 children and cook dinner every night, and just doing those two tasks can be a feat!  Not to mention laundry, diaper changing, potty training, dealing with puberty...time for writing, hell I barely have time to breathe!!!  But one thing that I promised myself as a  naive, pregnant 19 year old was that I would never let being a mother be a burden.  I never want my children to think that you have to sacrifice your gifts in order to be an active parent, you just have to be organized, driven and full of faith in the fact that you were built for this!

Hopefully making this list will help me to focus my energy and remain conscious of my distractions and take the steps needed keep my distractions and my productivity balanced. (and if not oh well at least I tried)



Sunday, June 23, 2013

Poetry

There is poetry trapped inside of every tear
Every blessing
Every fear
Even if no one is around to hear
There is poetry...

Friday, June 7, 2013

Breathe

Sometimes I find myself so deep In thought that I forget to breathe
Clenching my teeth
All of my worries coiled at the base of my spine or knotted at my shoulder blades
Tummy tickled and taunted by anxiety
Restless
Scatter-brained
And then I remember to breathe
Deep, slow, cleansing
Unchoreographed moments of calm
Releasing me from the spirit of urgency
Balancing my energy
Disrobing and unloading
Letting go, growing free
With prayers and meditations full of "inhale, exhale, be"

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Full moon

This feels like a night of never ending poems
Monologues written for the moon
Secret messages masked in the mundane
It's a shame that no one will get to read those masterpieces  written selfishly to ensure my survival and ease the pain...

©Amber Hasan 2013

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Motherhood

Being a mother means sharing your body
Your food
Your money
Your sleep
Your bed
Your laughs
Your tears
Your time
Your spirit
And your love
Endlessly
Openly
Willingly
Selflessly...

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Oceans vs. Puddles

She searches for sea shells by the sea shore
she searches for crack rocks by the garbage can but saying that she searches for sea shells by the sea shore sounds so much better
it metaphorically mimics how she scrapes the pavement for any remnants of her dignity,
fingertips calloused and burned from searching for heaven in hell's playground
the street between us serves as an abysmal divide causing me to forget compassion and her to forget pride
our lives leisurely collide
and it crosses my mind
"we're probably way too much alike to like each other"
me as indulgent and her as judgemental
her situation doesnt show me what she has been through, but it shows me that she got stuck,
her rut became her only stability
i pretend that her curses and murmurs are prayers
the whispers and stares dont bother her
the only cares in her world are how to numb the feelings
i want her to hold on and she wants me to let go because i will never understand her struggle
in the scope of my world her oceans may always appear puddles
©Amber Hasan 2013

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Death at a funeral

When I die
tell my daughters to wash my
body
Shroud me in white linen
Tell them to pay attention to the details of death
Encourage them to live while alive
Can't come back from the final rest
No greater theft than someone stealing your time
You are defined by how you spend your moments
Existence is a miracle
Make it marvelous
Breathtaking even
Choose happy
That is the greatest truth my pappy ever told me
The evolution of my mother showed me to live boldly and wholly
Don't let pain hold me
Cander isn't always healing
God's grace is evident in every gander
Nothing grander than it's grandeur
Gifts abundant and glorious if you view them as such
Waking up
My Children's touch
The blush of sun rays at Maghrib
Signifying the end to another day
No mourning for the morning
Our light must set someday
© Amber Hasan 2013

Thoughts on the train ride home from Chicago

Beautiful moments of still

Seeing my own reflection in the world seals my connection to everything...and nothing

It could all disappear in an instant

Stop and smell the flowers

Pass the hours with those who make you smile,
compile your memories
but don't let them enslave you,
Nothing on this earth
can save you from meeting death,
So live without fear
...Without Ego
...Without regret

© Amber Hasan 2013